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After I had shown her around the plant, introducing her to the various department heads, we looked at some of the proposed programs I was considering. Returning to my office, I asked Janet if she'd like something to drink, and she was happy with water. It was my turn to be host, so I fetched the water, a couple of Aser's favorite cookies, and brought them back to the office. We sat and talked, and I found my mind wandering into lustful avenues again. I looked at her hand and saw no wedding rings. I know she could easily see the wedding ring on my hand, and I wondered why I hadn't removed it yet.After an hour of sketching out a plan for the program, I noticed Aser's door was open and I tapped lightly on it. He welcomed us with a genuine smile. I introduced Janet, and he asked her a couple of thoughtful questions about her school and her students."I just want to tell you how grateful I am for your support, Mr. Rothmann. I'm hoping it really is the start of a great program for our. As I lay in bed that morning, I thought about what I must do. I must convince Howard that I have given up any idea of an affair. I must make him believe that I am his exclusively and that my request the other night was nothing more than the ravings of a menopausal woman. Surely he could believe that was possible. I had stopped taking hormone replacement therapy after the health scares. Perhaps I could blame it on that.I told Ginny about my confrontation with Howard. She scolded me for being so careless. She knew of my desire to take a lover. She does not approve. She warned me that Howard would never accept it. She can't understand why I would want to cheat on him. She sees him as the perfect husband. She's right of course. He is perfect. Too perfect.Why am I so hell-bent on self-destruction? Why do I think I can have my wonderful husband and another man on the side? I don't understand myself. It's not like I haven't had the experience of other men before Howard and I met. I know the.
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